Not So Hippie Any More

On Monday night I was nuzzled in between two six foot five skin heads covered in fake blood and other bodily fluids that I do not need to name. Where did I find this odd scenario? No where else but the Gwar concert. This theatrical and "hard core" show features the band Gwar (outer space beings that come to take over the world through heavy metal music), numerous thrash dancers, skin heads, an imitated slaughter of all the presidential candidates(plus Hilary), and of course being sprayed with many alien fluids.
I had no idea what to expect at this head banging, blood spraying concert. In the very beginning of the show I was thrown into a mosh pit where I was introduced to thrash dancing, which is absolutely the dumbest type of dance I have ever seen. Thrash dancing involves flailing every limb of your body in any place you like, with complete disregard to the people around you. One of the thrash dancers in this pit kept dancing in front of me almost knocking me out multiple times. I ended up having to plant a firm kick to his spine to make him stop freaking out in front of me. After the thrash dancing incident the concert was actually quite entertaining. When the band came out, they introduced the idea that the alien band was running for president, and they were going to have to kill the entire audience.
After Gwar informed the audience that the band is running for president, they brought out dummies of all the political candidates(excluding Ralph Nader which is relevant since he is excluded from all debates) and either cut their head off spraying red water all over the crowd, or did something a bit more gruesome in Hilary's case. Those were not the only fake murders of the show, Gwar also murdered multiple other persona's such as a skin head and a hippie. At this point in the show I was covered in red from head to toe in the very front row squeezed between two huge skin heads. By the end of the show I was so hot I was begging for more fake murders so that I could cool off with the cool fluids(never thought that I would say that sentence).

My wish was granted when the lead singer eject fake heroin into his penis, which then started spraying cold green water all over the crowd. Really the water was mainly sprayed on me because I was in the very front and the singer did not make an attempt to spray it all over the crowd...So I was being hit directly by the green stream for around five minutes. Even though this concert sounds disgusting, it was quite an experience and I had an amazing time seeing the insanity of a Gwar concert.